Collection of Irish Song Lyrics
Charlie and the T.S.A.
Let me tell you the story
âbout a man named Charlie,
Whoâs departing from JFK,
Packed up all his belongings in his carry-on luggage,
All he wanted was to fly away.
CHORUS But will he ever depart?
No! Heâll never depart!
And heâll never get onto that plane,
Because a nose-hair clipper is a lethal weapon,
Heâs detained by the TSA
Charlieâs loose shampoo and his roll-on deodârant
Were a sight for the agent to see!
He even found some toothpaste and disposable razors,
Says the agent, âNow youâre coming with me!â
Charlie handed in his baggage for a gloved inspection
âcuz his hygeine shouldnât be a crime,
All the agents gathered round him
like flies at a picnic Saying
âThis is gonna take some time!â
Now Homeland Security went to Def Con 7
When they found his non-prescription drugs,
But they waved through Akhmed
with his beard and turban
âcuz they wouldnât want to profile thugs!
Poor Charlie was labled as a troublemaker
For leaving on his sneakers and belt,
So they stripped him and they searched him
and they frisked him and they dissed him,
But they didnât leave a blemish or welt.
Now about this time, Charlieâs flight was arriving
At the place where he needed to be,
While back in New York, Charlieâs naked and shakinâ
Saying, âWhy did they do this to me?â
Now Akhmed got out of the 747,
And he went off to work next day,
Newspapers on the racks of his 7-11,
Featured Charlie and the TSA!
